Dear Compassionate Friends:

Grief truly is an ongoing process, and very much a personal journey. We have learned of the five stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. What we haven't learned, however, is that there is no smooth transition from one stage to another, and no timetable for each stage. You might think you are coping pretty well; actually sleeping and functioning at home and work, and suddenly you are right back to when your heart is so heavy you just don't know if you can face the world. You feel stuck in your grief and wonder if you will ever feel joy again. You feel incredibly lonely and isolated, and worry that you are never going to get better.

Allow yourself to feel your feelings. Don't think "I should be better by now" or listen to anyone else who tells you what you should or shouldn't feel. If you need to visit the cemetery every day do it. If you need to keep your child's room the way it was do it. Do what you need to do to keep your memories of your child alive to bring you comfort. As you journey the path to healing the bad days will get fewer and you will remember more happy memories than bad, but it takes time. We will be forever changed from the loss of our child, sibling or grandchild, but we can live with a broken heart. It takes time to mend and time to heal, so be kind to yourself and reach out to your Friends, who share your journey and loss.

I wish you comfort and healing, and that there are more happy memories than sad.

In friendship,